i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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