At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I want to fling myself into the sun
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
