I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
