wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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