if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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