Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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