I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I could make wine with my vomit
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
