the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
