he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
