I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
