im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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