Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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