Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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