at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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