Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
