i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
