who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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