Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
