I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
