The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
