none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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