I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
