Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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