Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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