I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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