I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
