her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
