i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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