so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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