no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
