Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
