I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
