Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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