So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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