Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
