ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
