so explain again why im purple
no
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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