So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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