I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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