I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
