To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
