oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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