Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
