dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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