There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
