Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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