No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
