I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
