I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
