This is not my ceiling
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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