That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
